are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
