somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Life is so much better after having sex.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
