Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
