if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
