I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
are you so shy because you have an std?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
