I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm too high and old for this...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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