I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
