Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
