Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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