plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
