Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
