he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize