we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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