Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
