I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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