Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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