Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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