I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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