someone threw a dead crab at me
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
