Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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