so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize