Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
