**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
