he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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