party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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