Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
