i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
