its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
