im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
