it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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