just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
