eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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