She said her name was "party"
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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