I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
