My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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