fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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