I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
