Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
