Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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