Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize