We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Green mimosas i think yes
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
