those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
