can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
