Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
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I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
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you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.