Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself

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(775): View more from Nevada

Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?

(518): View more from New York

No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.

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(443): View more from Maryland

The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(407): View more from Florida

the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?

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(330): View more from Ohio

I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher

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(646): View more from New York

Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable

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(736): View more from

I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.

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