i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just google imaged poop.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later