my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
