he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
