why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
