$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i barfeds in our rink
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
