In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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