My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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