you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
