Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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