It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
