how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
