This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
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I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
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