i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
