You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
