if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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