I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
