Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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