Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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