Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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