I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
